Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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