Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
