At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
