How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
