Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
