So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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