So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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