i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He did a backflip because drugs
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
