All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
