A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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