YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
