All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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