it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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