Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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