there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
