You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
