One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
