Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
