She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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