would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
