Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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