At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
