I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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