Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
