Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
