Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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