I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
birth control should be required to get into college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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