You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
