She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
