it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
