Porn is love you can see.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
