Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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