Christians are straight up FREAKS
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
