Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
