I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
