I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
