I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
