Someone shit on the floor
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
As shirtless as possible
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
