....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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