Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
