hell yes lets make some ravioli
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
