Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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