Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
