so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
only you would photoshop your dick
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
