i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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