its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
