I just made out with a guy for $7.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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