i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
