More tranny stories later!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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