just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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