shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
