I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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