I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
