Do you still have your period?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
